thanksgiving gratitude

Faking Thanksgiving (Because It’s Not Easy)

As a therapist, I know that on many (most?) occasions lots of good people have to fake thanksgiving. And, like I said, these are truly good people. Circumstances of life can make the commercialized, easy-breezy, fa-la-la-la-la gratitude next to impossible. And, so, with our...
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Wonderful Life Re-Imagined

In Friday’s October 23 Shoreline Times paper, theater-critic Brooks Appelbaum slipped on the metaphorical ice of superficiality. That is, she thumbed down the Goodspeed‘s theatrical musical A Wonderful Life, and only because it’s not like the famous movie....
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The Big Bang Theory and Terry Klee

The Big Bang Theory and You. Now, Please Pass the Butter!

Sometimes we abruptly belly laugh, especially when the laugh is about something everyone knows exists, but pretends doesn’t. An old episode of The Big Bang Theory is one of those times.In the episode called The Indecision Amalgamation, Sheldon can’t stop talking about which...
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The Sound of One Hand Clapping

Try clapping your hands, but with only one hand. Exactly. It takes two. Happy couples detect and respond to their partner’s everyday, ordinary efforts for attention, humor, affection, emotional support, solidarity, sex and so on, twice as much as unhappy couples. (Studies show...
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The Wedding Toast I’ll Never Give ~ New York Times

A dear client of a long term marriage shared this essay with me. It appeared in The New York Times this past weekend, and I’m grateful to its author, Ada Calhoun, for capturing what so many of us know but cannot articulate as simply nor as lightly as she does. Read her full...
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Friends As Warm Soil ~ And, How Hope Grows In The Dark

Wearing suspiciously huge man-plaid shirts, two psychotherapists crouched over a patch of soil. Neither knew the other was a therapist. But, as new acquaintances, they each had a solid hunch that the other had donned the husbands’ threads for the first day of their garden...
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MTV_Avengers_relationship_expert_Klee

When MTV’s Editor Called Me

Several weeks back, an MTV Editor phoned me.  The summer’s blockbuster movie Avengers: Age of Ultron was about to rev up theaters, and Wickman from MTV wondered how the Black Widow and the Hulk might do as a couple. Would I mind answering a few questions along these lines,...
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http://www.nytimes.com/video/arts/music/100000003275276/in-performance-kate-soper-erin-lesser.html?smid=nytimesarts

Is There Such A Thing As A Comfy Fight? Couples Fighting.

When you watch the New York Times performance of Kate Soper & Erin Lessor, you want to turn it off. Why? Because it is that good. It is that uncomfortable. It re-enacts in art what most couples’ fights feel like, at least the all-time awful ones. It’s no comfy...
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Hear That? A Party in Your Brain’s Basement.

Hear that? A party in your brain’s basement, and insight lets loose there. Only, we’ve all but shut it down. Here’s how it looks in couples counseling: to forgive or not, to divorce or not, to keep on with IVF or not, to take a new job or not, to speak up or not. We think...
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DIY Couples Counseling & How to Fall In Love with Anyone

DIY Couples Counseling just got easier. Since “To Fall In Love with Anyone, Do This” went viral, I looked into the usefulness and legitimacy of it’s “36 Questions.” Having been conducted by Drs. Arthur and Elaine Aron, the research behind the...
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