The Wedding Toast I’ll Never Give ~ New York Times

A dear client of a long term marriage shared this essay with me. It appeared in The New York Times this past weekend, and I’m grateful to its author, Ada Calhoun, for capturing what so many of us know but cannot articulate as simply nor as lightly as she does. Read her full...
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Friends As Warm Soil ~ And, How Hope Grows In The Dark

Wearing suspiciously huge man-plaid shirts, two psychotherapists crouched over a patch of soil. Neither knew the other was a therapist. But, as new acquaintances, they each had a solid hunch that the other had donned the husbands’ threads for the first day of their garden...
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MTV_Avengers_relationship_expert_Klee

When MTV’s Editor Called Me

Several weeks back, an MTV Editor phoned me.  The summer’s blockbuster movie Avengers: Age of Ultron was about to rev up theaters, and Wickman from MTV wondered how the Black Widow and the Hulk might do as a couple. Would I mind answering a few questions along these lines,...
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http://www.nytimes.com/video/arts/music/100000003275276/in-performance-kate-soper-erin-lesser.html?smid=nytimesarts

Is There Such A Thing As A Comfy Fight? Couples Fighting.

When you watch the New York Times performance of Kate Soper & Erin Lessor, you want to turn it off. Why? Because it is that good. It is that uncomfortable. It re-enacts in art what most couples’ fights feel like, at least the all-time awful ones. It’s no comfy...
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Hear That? A Party in Your Brain’s Basement.

Hear that? A party in your brain’s basement, and insight lets loose there. Only, we’ve all but shut it down. Here’s how it looks in couples counseling: to forgive or not, to divorce or not, to keep on with IVF or not, to take a new job or not, to speak up or not. We think...
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DIY Couples Counseling & How to Fall In Love with Anyone

DIY Couples Counseling just got easier. Since “To Fall In Love with Anyone, Do This” went viral, I looked into the usefulness and legitimacy of it’s “36 Questions.” Having been conducted by Drs. Arthur and Elaine Aron, the research behind the...
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Our Heads As Air Traffic Control ~ Relationship Turbulence

My clients know I’m good for a comment about how our brains work, how it impacts our relationships’ dynamics. Our heads are our air traffic control towers. Our eyes are the lookout windows. Our personalities are out on the run way: landing, taking off, idling, or...
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Tweeting with Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson was to rescue me from the Twitter scrublands. Instead, he opened his own Twitter account and posted his profile as @RalphBeReal. Ralph Waldo Emerson is considered a forefather of modern psychology. When I read his work, I understand why: he was in pursuit of one’s...
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Cake Is Great Therapy. Okay, Sorta.

Cake is great therapy. Cookies are, too. Besides, it’s the holiday season, right? Okay, sorta. But, there is some entertaining, respected research. Of course, before you go and eat a whole cake while laying back to watch t.v.’s Top Chef, Iron Chef, and all the rest,...
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Cuddle Schmuddle, Stress Relief

Cuddle Schmuddle. I’ve got things to do. That’s right. From time to time, maybe you’ve privately thought: “I’m way too busy and way too stressed to help others any more than I already do. And, besides, I hate feeling so stressed to begin with.” Hating On Stress?...
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