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When To Seek Infertility Counseling

There are three slightly subtle scenarios for when to seek infertility counseling. Subtle only in that they creep in on us, and then they sound off like a wake-up call. Wouldn’t it be nice to detect the scenario before the sirens? But, wait. Even before these more common...
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happy woman deciding relationship

Deciding or Sliding Into a Relationship

When it comes to a relationship, the majority of us seem to slide into them.  Unfortunately, sliding is not deciding. It is a route to mid-life crises. For instance, take living together: Researchers at the University of Colorado found that two-thirds of us just sort of slide...
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Childless? Want a baby? It turns out parenthood is worse than divorce, job-loss — even a partner’s death

It turns out parenthood is worse than divorce, job-loss — and even the death of a partner. This surprises persons who, childless, feel only despair if they cannot “have” a baby.  Similarly, if you’re thinking a baby will save the marriage, just the opposite —...
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How to Be Happy In A Snow Squall

Alone in a blizzard, a woman’s snowflaked lashes flutter shut. With breath fading and lips palish purple, she hums a song unfamiliar to her: Shiny happy people holding hands. As if I’m kidding (but I’m not), the woman’s name is Happy, though she’s not very happy, is...
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thanksgiving gratitude

Faking Thanksgiving (Because It’s Not Easy)

As a therapist, I know that on many (most?) occasions lots of good people have to fake thanksgiving. And, like I said, these are truly good people. Circumstances of life can make the commercialized, easy-breezy, fa-la-la-la-la gratitude next to impossible. And, so, with our...
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Wonderful Life Re-Imagined

In Friday’s October 23 Shoreline Times paper, theater-critic Brooks Appelbaum slipped on the metaphorical ice of superficiality. That is, she thumbed down the Goodspeed‘s theatrical musical A Wonderful Life, and only because it’s not like the famous movie....
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The Sound of One Hand Clapping

Try clapping your hands, but with only one hand. Exactly. It takes two. Happy couples detect and respond to their partner’s everyday, ordinary efforts for attention, humor, affection, emotional support, solidarity, sex and so on, twice as much as unhappy couples. (Studies show...
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Friends As Warm Soil ~ And, How Hope Grows In The Dark

Wearing suspiciously huge man-plaid shirts, two psychotherapists crouched over a patch of soil. Neither knew the other was a therapist. But, as new acquaintances, they each had a solid hunch that the other had donned the husbands’ threads for the first day of their garden...
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When MTV’s Editor Called Me

Several weeks back, an MTV Editor phoned me.  The summer’s blockbuster movie Avengers: Age of Ultron was about to rev up theaters, and Wickman from MTV wondered how the Black Widow and the Hulk might do as a couple. Would I mind answering a few questions along these lines,...
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http://www.nytimes.com/video/arts/music/100000003275276/in-performance-kate-soper-erin-lesser.html?smid=nytimesarts

Is There Such A Thing As A Comfy Fight? Couples Fighting.

When you watch the New York Times performance of Kate Soper & Erin Lessor, you want to turn it off. Why? Because it is that good. It is that uncomfortable. It re-enacts in art what most couples’ fights feel like, at least the all-time awful ones. It’s no comfy...
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