couple running from dinosaur childless or parenthood

Childless? Want a baby? It turns out parenthood is worse than divorce, job-loss — even a partner’s death

It turns out parenthood is worse than divorce, job-loss — and even the death of a partner. This surprises persons who, childless, feel only despair if they cannot “have” a baby.  Similarly, if you’re thinking a baby will save the marriage, just the opposite —...
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Friends As Warm Soil ~ And, How Hope Grows In The Dark

Wearing suspiciously huge man-plaid shirts, two psychotherapists crouched over a patch of soil. Neither knew the other was a therapist. But, as new acquaintances, they each had a solid hunch that the other had donned the husbands’ threads for the first day of their garden...
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Hear That? A Party in Your Brain’s Basement.

Hear that? A party in your brain’s basement, and insight lets loose there. Only, we’ve all but shut it down. Here’s how it looks in couples counseling: to forgive or not, to divorce or not, to keep on with IVF or not, to take a new job or not, to speak up or not. We think...
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DIY Couples Counseling & How to Fall In Love with Anyone

DIY Couples Counseling just got easier. Since “To Fall In Love with Anyone, Do This” went viral, I looked into the usefulness and legitimacy of it’s “36 Questions.” Having been conducted by Drs. Arthur and Elaine Aron, the research behind the...
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Our Heads As Air Traffic Control ~ Relationship Turbulence

My clients know I’m good for a comment about how our brains work, how it impacts our relationships’ dynamics. Our heads are our air traffic control towers. Our eyes are the lookout windows. Our personalities are out on the run way: landing, taking off, idling, or...
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In Your Pocket, A Crumpled Note of Childlessness.

As a couples counselor in general and scholar whose work specifically takes on the surprising facts of so-called childlessness, I’d like to share an op-ed by Dr. Eli J. Finkel, a new parent. He is also a professor of psychology and of management and organizations at...
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